Gone
by MissHarold
Summary: What if Justin died from the bashing? What happens to Brian?


Gone:

I see him walk away from me I can't help but smile. Then I see someone come out of the shadows. With a bat. I call Justin's name to warn him. But he swings just as he turns. I run over there and the guy turns around and I see its that Chris Hobbs. He starts running from me, but I catch up and grab the bat from him and hit him in the leg. He falls to the ground in agony.

I turn back and kneel to look at Sunshine. There was blood everywhere. I tried calling his name, but nothing was working. Just then Daphne comes out to see what was happening and sees Justin and gasps. I sit on the ground and hold him while rocking back and forth trying to keep the tears from falling. Daphne calls 911 and they come there in a matter of minutes.

By now almost everybody is in the parking garage, and they are loading Justin in the ambulance while checking on Chris's leg, but I couldn't care less about him. They ask if I want to ride and all I can do is nodd. While riding I call Mikey and tell him what happened.

They remove the bloody scarf to get rid of it, but I grab it from the paramedic before she can. I hold his hand for dear life, for the both of us.

We get to the hospital and I sit there waiting for some news. By now I can't even control by tears they're just falling out. I hear footsteps coming my way and I sees it's Mikey. He tries to put a soothing hand on me, but it doesn't help at all. One by one the whole gang comes in including Justin's mother. She looks at me with sympathy, but I don't want sympathy I want to know if my Sunshine is alright.

The doctor come out of the room and starts saying a bunch of stuff but all I get from it is,

"He's not gonna make it."

He lets people go in to say their goodbyes. Everybody thinks I should go in first. And I do.

I walk in there, and suck in my breath. My Sunshine, my poor poor Sunshine is broken.

I sit in the chair and take his hand,

"I know I have been an asshole from day one and I'm sorry. The truth is that I was pushing you away, pushing the feelings away, the feeling of me slowly falling in love with you. Yeah, you heard me right, I love you. And if you're gone I don't know what I will do. I will honestly have nothing to live for. So please, please, please just wake up and I will give you everything you want, just please wake up."

But he doesn't. Instead he flatlines. The doctors push me out and try to save him. The doctors comes back out and have I sad look on his face. I know he didn't make. I grab a hold of the scarf, and walk out of the hospital with tears in my eyes.

I don't know how I got home, but I do. I slowly undress and make my way to the shower while passing little things he left at the loft. A jacket, a sketchbook, some art supplies. It's too much for me and I practically run to the shower. I turn it to the hottest it will go and walk into the scalding water. I slowly sink to the floor and bring my knees to my chest and cry my eyes out. He's gone. He's gone. Sunshine is gone. It just keeps echoing in my head while I cry. I don't know how long I'm in here, but I guess a long time because now the water is ice cold.

I get out, but don't even dry or put on some clothes just go straight to bed. I grab his pillow and hug it, it smells just like him. Then even more tears come out. And I cry myself to sleep.

Today is his funeral. I have been pretty much in shock all this week. Someone from the gang has been on 'Brian Watch' making sure I not gonna do anything. And to be honest I probably would have done something without anyone watching.

I have been on autopilot this week as well. Just doing things without really knowing it.

We get to the funeral and thank god the casket is close, I don't think I would have handled seeing him like that.

After the funeral, Mikey drops me off at the loft and I somehow convice him to leave. But I immediately regret it. Because the shock of Justin being dead is finally wearing off. It occurs to me that Justin is dead and anger rises in me and I ask myself,

"Why did I have to go to his prom?"

"What will I do now?"

"Why didn't I tell him I love him?"

"What can I do for him to be with me again?"

Then it comes to me what I have to do. I get the scarf I have hidden under his pillow and get the stool. I go by a rafter and tie the scarf around my neck then tie it around the rafter. I kick the stoll from under me and let the darkness take me till I'm gone.


End file.
